Today is the 16th of July, exactly 366
days after I commited to read the old testament, and it’s the day I
finished reading the whole Bible for the 1st time 🥺
Proud? Not at all... It’s not something to be proud of when so many people finished it in a month, or maybe several months, and I took 1.5 years to finish it, much much longer... But for me personally, it’s a touching moment... It’s like a checkpoint for me, how the old me who rejected to read it 😂, even rejected to pray for it 🤣, now I finished it all... I never wanted to read it, but He guided me and strengthened me to commit about it...
Still remember the first time coming to the care group. I’d never wanted that too, I’m the individual person type who doesn’t like socializing with people, moreover, it’s about talking the religion, wth...
I don’t even like coming to the cafe or any other fun place with many people on it... Me coming to a church for a talk about religion!? You wish! I turned down my friend’s invitation for several months...
The mentor gave me a book through my friend, then I was invited by them, again... I was curious to see who was this person who gave this book?? 😂 I didn’t even read the books at school, and someone gave me a book 🤣
In short, I started coming to the care group, even I was quite offended with the mentor’s words at first, because all she did was just talking about the Word of God 😂
The group was so far from perfect. It consisted of some depressed persons, some atheists, some ignorants, some idealists, and so on (I don’t talk about other people only, I talk about myself too)
In facts, the group didn’t last for a long time. It disbanded around half a year after I joined them. Still remember the time I talked to my mentor face to face after disbanding, she said she was struggling with this group, too...
But can’t you see? A group which is so messed up, but God uses them to guide me. The Holy Spirit does the work on me. Even though I was offended at first, I know it was right. I started to know about God more through my mentor, in this group. God works in a way human can never realize, so that people know that it’s His work, not ours.
Proud? Not at all... It’s not something to be proud of when so many people finished it in a month, or maybe several months, and I took 1.5 years to finish it, much much longer... But for me personally, it’s a touching moment... It’s like a checkpoint for me, how the old me who rejected to read it 😂, even rejected to pray for it 🤣, now I finished it all... I never wanted to read it, but He guided me and strengthened me to commit about it...
Still remember the first time coming to the care group. I’d never wanted that too, I’m the individual person type who doesn’t like socializing with people, moreover, it’s about talking the religion, wth...
I don’t even like coming to the cafe or any other fun place with many people on it... Me coming to a church for a talk about religion!? You wish! I turned down my friend’s invitation for several months...
The mentor gave me a book through my friend, then I was invited by them, again... I was curious to see who was this person who gave this book?? 😂 I didn’t even read the books at school, and someone gave me a book 🤣
In short, I started coming to the care group, even I was quite offended with the mentor’s words at first, because all she did was just talking about the Word of God 😂
The group was so far from perfect. It consisted of some depressed persons, some atheists, some ignorants, some idealists, and so on (I don’t talk about other people only, I talk about myself too)
In facts, the group didn’t last for a long time. It disbanded around half a year after I joined them. Still remember the time I talked to my mentor face to face after disbanding, she said she was struggling with this group, too...
But can’t you see? A group which is so messed up, but God uses them to guide me. The Holy Spirit does the work on me. Even though I was offended at first, I know it was right. I started to know about God more through my mentor, in this group. God works in a way human can never realize, so that people know that it’s His work, not ours.
Now that I think about it, God is even
using something that I hate, a book, to invite me to the group, which
led me to know Him more. If the mentor never gave me a book, probably I
will never be curious about her, and I will be still staying at home
enjoying my own self, still rejecting coming to the church.
As I read the Bible, I struggle a lot... The more I read, the more I don’t know... The more I learn, the more I’m confused...
There are even times when I doubt myself... Do I truly believe in Him? Can I stay faithful till the end of my life? Will I ever turn my heart from Him one day?
But from those struggles, at least I get to know that I’m more finite, more limited, and smaller than I expected, and He is infinite and bigger than I ever realize...
The devil is real. He knows he can’t make me stop reading the Bible, so he gave me doubt when I got questions. But in my downs, I came to God and prayed, and then He provided me some guidance right away, through people around me, through the books, through the sermon, through everything. I don’t know how many times He convinced me it’s ok to have some questions....
A coincidence? I’m afraid not. The devil is real, but my God is even more real... Can’t thank You enough, God...
Still a long way to go, but I really wish to know Him more, the-finite-me with my limited knowledge, walking step by step together with Him so that I can completely trust in Him.
As I read the Bible, I struggle a lot... The more I read, the more I don’t know... The more I learn, the more I’m confused...
There are even times when I doubt myself... Do I truly believe in Him? Can I stay faithful till the end of my life? Will I ever turn my heart from Him one day?
But from those struggles, at least I get to know that I’m more finite, more limited, and smaller than I expected, and He is infinite and bigger than I ever realize...
The devil is real. He knows he can’t make me stop reading the Bible, so he gave me doubt when I got questions. But in my downs, I came to God and prayed, and then He provided me some guidance right away, through people around me, through the books, through the sermon, through everything. I don’t know how many times He convinced me it’s ok to have some questions....
A coincidence? I’m afraid not. The devil is real, but my God is even more real... Can’t thank You enough, God...
Still a long way to go, but I really wish to know Him more, the-finite-me with my limited knowledge, walking step by step together with Him so that I can completely trust in Him.
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